The reason I waited so long to make this blog live…

So, most of you have probably noticed, that there is a huge gap of when these posts started and when the blog became live.

I wanted to be upfront about the why’s and hopefully, this will put into perspective some other things you may notice about me. Hopefully get where I am coming from and still follow along anyway. As I would love the accountability, as I only really have one “real” person as an accountability partner, but I try not to get into too much detail as they have their own life to live too, and not be worrying about me.

They are an amazing friend, but you know, own life, socialising, work and finances to focus on.

So, lets start with the most obvious: cost. Domains; software to make logos (I wanted to try and make my own); and hosting costs. There are more, I just haven’t got to that stage yet. At the time of writing, this blog is still not live. Whilst individually these aren’t expensive, however I want to make a nice blog. Something to document at minimum my debt free journey; for the re-start and to build a community where we can discuss financial journeys and build each other up.

The second thing that is holding me back is my own personality. Honestly, I would judge my work ethic to be very good. I used to work 80+ hours a week. Went on long streaks of no days off. So, not to sound conceited but, I am a damn good person to have working for you. When I am in work; I work. I very rarely slack.

However, for personal projects like this, I tend to put it on the backburner. I struggle with making myself a priority.

I am not naturally inclined to sit and type for hours, or afterwork sitting and doing a heck load of thinking and planning. I do that all day in my day job, and I struggle to then do that in my personal time too. I am used to getting home, and just reading or sleeping.

I am also still working on the consistency aspect of this. Being consistent and following through are another two aspects of my personality which makes me hesitant to publish the blog. I have been known to start things and then never finish them. I am also working on this, but it takes time.

These are four parts of my personality which are huge “friction” points.

The third reason is because I suffer from depression. While I am “high functioning”, the symptoms are still there. I have bad moments; and some pretty nasty thoughts; as well as lengths of time of just being completely empty. When I am in going though these stages, the last thing I want to do is be writing.

***Now I do want to say, no matter how depression manifests, it is an awful thing to go through. Also please note that mental health manifests differently for everyone, and one person’s experience is not the same as someone else’s. No-one is superior and we all need to have a safe space to discuss it. That is why I brought it up. While I admit, I am not following every blog, YouTube channel and social media of every financial person there is; I haven’t seen one talk about their finances and mental health. Not saying there aren’t there, but I have not seen it. I want this to be a safe place who deal with both. As finances and mental health are linked. I make awful financial decisions when I am hitting the deeper lows. ***

These are my three major reasons I made so many posts before publishing. I hope you still enjoy the blog, and if there is anything you wish to discuss, please contact me. If you have any questions, also know I will be happy to respond.

Thank you so much for reading! Much love to you all!

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